These words still ring in my ears from my Navy days. It seemed there was a constant struggle with this guy. Over the decades some of the details are not quite clear, but it seems that he had issues ranging from training to how he wore his uniform.
As the section leader, I had been talking with my Chief Petty Officer about this person. This sailor had been on his radar for the wrong reasons. What made the situation hard for me as a new leader was he wasn’t a bad guy. People had been bounced out of our program for doing stupid things and making bad decisions. These people could have done better but opted not to do so.
This wasn’t the case with this sailor. He was well liked and eager to improve. He admitted his shortcomings and paid respectful attention when he was being corrected. With that being said, somethings he just could not seem to overcome. Or if he did, he screwed up something else.
We had gotten to a point where a decision had to be made about him being in our program. It was during a morning check-in that Chief said those words. “Sometimes you just can’t mold shitty clay, Eaves.”
I really don’t like losing or failing. Included in that is failing people I lead and coach. But there comes a point where the right decision is to remove a person from a situation for their well-being and that of others around them. That was where I learned success can be re-defined from what we might first think of it.
When a person is allowed to struggle without improvement, sooner or later things are likely to happen with serious consequences. Depending on the situation, that person could be in a situation where he could harm and even kill himself and others. There comes a point where the successful course of action is not trying to force a square peg through a round hole.
Now, it’s pretty rare to encounter a situation where a person tries to become a better communicator and completely fails. They might be better at writing than speaking, or creating infographics. Maybe they become a master public speaker. Usually people can become good at multiple communication skills with them being stronger in one particular area.
With that said, I have encountered cases where a person just could not effectively interact with people. They were great at their technical job. But they could not translate information from their minds into comprehendible messages. They might be a bad fit for the job, but they’re not bad people. They just are not good communicators.
What sucks is when they want to be good at communication. They know it’s a professional handicap. When it’s been determined it has become a “shitty clay” situation, that definition for success changes. How can this person contribute successfully doing something different? Is that an option?
Sometimes people are let go to discover this on their own. While painful, that can turn into an opportunity to discover what they are good doing. When people are good at something, happiness (hopefully) follows and (over time) they forget about earlier failures. But they need to move on to that new activity.
Then there are those who don’t understand they are not and will never be good at communication (or some other function). Perhaps they were good at it in the past. Maybe really good. But now, their clay is dried up, cracked, and broken.
Something is wrong somewhere. I am not talking about useless and delusional jerks that believe they are “good at everything” but are actually great self-promoters but mediocre performers. There is something medically wrong that impedes or just outright prevents a person from performing that skill.
These situations change from coaching for improvement to coaching for acceptance of a drastic change in life (something I am not qualified to do). And all of the impacts that come with these changes. This usually includes making decisions to care for person’s welfare. No matter how much that person (and others) doesn’t want to make those changes.