The beauty of hard communication
The beauty of hard communication
All around us people celebrate how cool it is to do difficult things. But not so much to do them in our lives. People disagree with each other? Cut them off! Good compensation requires hard and valuable work? Not fair! It’s far more comfortable to watch “hard things” be done and talked about on YouTube.
Below are three communication activities that people typically regard as hard to do. Take a stab at one as a quick exercise.
Write a one page essay. Edit it. Share it. Ask for feedback.
Talk for two minutes on a topic without saying uh, ah, or umm. Record yourself. Ask for feedback.
Listen to someone talk for two minutes or longer and then ask them an open-ended question about what they just said (something that cannot be answered with a one word answer like yes or no).
None of these items seem hard to you? If so, try upping the challenge. Ask someone to give you a topic unfamiliar to you, for exercises 1 or 2.
When we avoid discomfort, we get soft. People cannot explain their thoughts. They don’t have the patience or sense of wonder to consider ideas and concepts foreign to them. Ideas which run counter to their beliefs. They live in their own echo chamber.
Worst of all, we tolerate mediocrity and even evil. Because that can be easier at the moment.
But life is not about easy. An easy life is a wasted life. Strive to achieve things most people cannot or will not do. Everyone has this decision to make. Hard is personal and relative to each person. Stretch and grow your mind while keeping an eye out for opportunity.
Do the hard things. Celebrate achieving them. Feel the rush of doing what others cannot or will not do. This all begins with communication. Communication with yourself and other people.
Start stopping
One of the more challenging aspects of working with people is knowing when to stop. Stop what? Pretty much everything. Such as:
Talking
Doing their jobs
Making their decisions
Why? Your answer lies in this question. Do you want a team of mature adults or are you running an adult day care? Sadly, the day care option seems to be somewhat popular. Go for the mature adults.
Mature adults require room to grow and spread their wings. There are numerous benefits for doing this, but here are four:
It’s hard to listen and learn when you’re talking.
Other people may have that golden idea that makes your life easier.
Letting other people interact is a subtle way of demonstrating you have confidence and a level of trust in them. The best way to get that from people is to give it to others.
It frees up your time to do other things such as start other projects, go on vacation, attend conferences, and more.
There are two caveats to this strategy. First, other people have to step up and contribute meaningful and relevant ideas. With this opportunity, mature adults will spread their wings and grow. Give them that space or they’ll get frustrated and leave.
That second caveat? Get rid of the “toddler” employees. They are toxic. Let them be someone else’s problem.
FAQ
What does Chad do? I help leaders and professionals become better communicators to achieve their goals, career, and reputations.
Where can I learn more about Chad’s experience? Click here for my LinkedIn profile.
What is the name of his business and does it have a website? It’s Executive Communication Brief. Click here for the website.