Make Better Introductions #2: The Rabbit Hole Antidote
Leaping into deep and dark rabbit holes might be good for rabbits. Not so much for people.
Introductions involve an element of vulnerability. You are putting yourself out for the world to criticize and savage. People like to think of introducing themselves in terms of “saying hi”, “I’m so and so and I do whatever…”, and “nice to meet you”. At a basic level, it comes down to if someone thinks there is some benefit to doing business in some way with you. Does that stranger think you bring something needed or desired and can you deliver on that value?
Judgements and risks can become quite a rabbit hole for people to tumble down once they start thinking about these aspects of introductions, much less communication, work and life in general. That rabbit hole can easily transform into dark, bottomless pit that’s hard for a person to pull out of and reach their potential.
Everyone gets tempted into peering down rabbit holes. Looking in and jumping in are two different things. The best solution to stay out of that deep, dark hole?
Self-confidence. Not just for introductions and staving off doubt and weakness. Self-confidence is the number one asset for good communicators. Good communicators stay focused on those desired outcomes while radiating self-confidence that prompts people to be better at communication . They are role-models for others to emulate and stretch far outside of their communication comfort zones. Watching them in action is inspiring, educational, and entertaining. They’re legendary in their circles. Because of their self-confidence.
How do you build self-confidence? Confidence itself is not an endpoint or something you can purchase from the confidence store. It’s a trait that happens for people through purpose and repetition of execution. Lots of repetition, struggle, and doubt. Which frustrates and upsets many people.
Confidence comes from doing something else well. The more often you do that thing well, the stronger your self-belief grows in those skills. Part of what makes confidence so valued and powerful is it’s often attained through failures, some quite severe and bitter. There are also practices and habits you can develop (to be shared in post in the near future).
People act and present themselves in different ways - how they translate their confidence into interactions with people. There is one reliable measure of the existence and application of self-confidence in a person. It is near impossible for this to exist without confidence.
Outcomes. Confidence is both North Star and power plant that motivates, guides and propels people to achieving their desired outcomes.
More to come…